Each case of CF is different. While some have very severe cases of the disease, others are only faced with mild symptoms. Regardless of the severity, it doesn't alter the way each parent feels when they receive the news that their child has cystic fibrosis. It doesn't alter the uneasiness or uncertainty that we each face when it comes to our child's future - because that's how it is with this disease; it's filled with the unknown. When exactly will things get bad? When will things get better when they do go bad? When will a cure be found?
Raising a kid is a challenge in itself - then add an extraordinary hardship into the equation, like Kaelyn's CF, and you're faced with a whole additional set of challenges. No one can ever 100% prepare you to be a parent when the day comes. Although it seems everyone wants to saturate your mind with parenting tips and advice when you have kids. I've been bombarded with the typical parenting remarks of, "You should do this" or "Why are you doing that". The advice and opinions are endless! But, what about when you receive unimaginable news about your child that no one prepared you for or offered any prior advice in handling?
Life is so random and filled with the unknown. I've learned that every day you should expect the unexpected, whether it be good or bad. It's full of up's and down's, twists and turns - and through it all, we come out a little bit stronger. Sure no one prepared me for the news of Kaelyn's CF. I'm not sure that if I was prepared or knew a little bit more about it at the time that I would've handled myself any differently or that it would've hurt any less. There's some things in life that you just can't prepare yourself for because of their unexpected arrival. However, how you handle what you're given is completely up to you, no matter the advice you receive or the lack there of. Plain and simple - Not everyone has the answers you're looking for.
Part of why I've turned to blogging is to let out all that's on my mind because some days I just need to, for my sanity. I don't speak of CF on a regular basis to friends and family because as of now, Kaelyn is extremely healthy. Some people may even "forget" she has the disease, but for me I never forget no matter how well she is doing. Thoughts always consume my mind about her future. That's the other reason why I'm doing this - to read the opinions, advice and stories of others faced with similar challenges. Some people ask me why I choose to read some of the CF blogs that are out there - I've been told they are "too sad or depressing" for me to read. But to be honest, these are real people sharing real stories and experiences. Though I've never met these individuals, I feel their joy in good news they share and their pain on the dark days - It provides a sense of reality and a way for me to cope with things. Most aren't filled with an overwhelming amount of positive energy, but what they are filled with is the ugly truth. The facts about their biggest enemy, CF and the continuous reminder that cystic fibrosis is still taking away young lives. They share their stories simply to promote awareness.
So this is me today. The me that's been made stronger, who's able to share advice and spread awareness - because there was a time 3 years ago that I couldn't do either.
LIFE...
filled with the unknown...
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
